This past week-end was the last AFS week-end during my exchange. The mood was a little low at times, as the theme for the night was our departure. We sat and talked, shared memories, and drew charts, all in the mindset of preparing mentally, to leave it all behind. And I think to myself, as I`m sure everyone else was thinking to: How can we be already talking about leaving? I haven't done enough yet! So I found myself trying to find ways to use the rest of my time here, as well as regretting and resenting the time I wasted around the house. Why didn`t I go out during break? Hop to it! This put me into a very odd place. I spent the week wishing I was staying for the year, and missing home more than ever. The two most contradicting feelings of all time.
However, much like when I arrived, even though this is one stage of leaving ( or coming), there are many to come. I start think now, but really I have a month left of school. After that I have a few weeks before I leave. Then again I leave my host family, but not yet the country. I will leave the country but not yet be home. I will come to The USA and not yet be home. I will come to my state and not yet be home. Eventually my city, and not yet be home. And then I`ll be home. While a part of me stays here, in Maizieres Les Metz.
When I come back to reality, I will be leaving in July. It will be happy and it will be sad. I have been productive and have been lazy. But I can`t change the past. I will use these next weeks to the fullest, and then I will go home and do the same exact thing there, and everywhere else my dreams take me. <3
